Maybe Angels Part 17/?? - Mistakes
May. 23rd, 2009 02:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
makotosagaraTitle: Maybe Angels Part 17/?? - Mistakes
Author: Makoto Sagara
Archives: the usual suspects; anywhere else, just ask
Category: Supernatural, Angst, Romance
Pairing(s): 2+5, 1+2, 3+1, 4+3, 4+2, H+4, 6+9, S+C, R+OC, 5+R (friendship), 13x5, eventual 2x5x2
Rating: T (13 )
Warnings: Shonen ai, OOC, AU, language, skewed views of a few different religions
Disclaimers: (sigh) No part of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, or its characters, belongs to me. Any references to Dogma are just made because I adore the movie and Kevin Smith, and are meant only out of love and affection for both. Not a single cent was made off of this piece of fanfiction. Suing would be inevitably pointless, seeing as how I have no money. Flames -will- be used to entertain my rabid muses... All three of them... They live for the things.
A/N: I know that the song for this chapter, if you listen to the “soundtrack” that I’ve made for this fic, is a little different than the others, but I was listening to the Puddle of Mudd CD “Come Clean”. I just thought that this song was perfect for this chapter. You don’t think so, please let me know. I think Neko is growing impatient for her flames. She said something about a bonfire…. I worry. ^^;;;
Symbols: -- change in scene, POV, or time
-- Minor change in scene or flashback
- Blah - in mind communication
-Blah- emphasized words
---------------------------------------
Unwanted, live my life ashamed
Who’s to blame for my mistakes?
Well, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why.
I believe (I believe), I said I believe
In the truth from inside
Go away, go away, go away from me
Leave me alone
Ignorance spreads lies
How much will money buy?
Well, I’ll take my time
As I drift and die
~ Drift & Die, Puddle of Mudd
----------------------------------------
Mistakes
What the hell was I going to do with Wufei? That was the question that constantly plagued me. Hilde and Solo had made me realize my feelings for the boy, but that never changed the fact that I was his Personal Angel and that he had been placed in my care specifically by God Herself. No matter what anyone else thought that was something that I took extreme pride and care in. My job was rather important, if only to myself.
But, to be honest, I was getting tired of everyone beating me over the head with my feelings. I could only be told so many times that I wanted more than just a regular relationship with the Chinese boy. It was starting to take its toll on my sanity, or what was left of it. Not to mention that the fact that Wufei was confused and it was starting to drive me to distraction. I had resigned myself to my fate of being stuck watching the one being that I cared for the most with someone else and having Dorothy rub that fact in my face every chance the little… bitch… got.
Hm, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever described Dionyzial with that word. It seems to have been created just for her now that I think about it. Uniciel is just… insane. There’s no bitterness or spite in her – just lunacy. Truthfully, I feel sorry for Une, but not enough to ever want to be around her again – been there, done that, have the scars to prove it.
All this emotional ping-pong brought me down faster than a semi stuck in a lake, so I decided to leave Wufei alone that night while he dreamt of sex and martial arts. (I’m serious!) I needed some time with my Heavenly friends. Believe it or not, I was starting to miss Quatre, Heero, Trowa and the others, not to mention that I was dying to have a conversation with Gandhi again.
I was surprised to see everyone already gathered together when I arrived. However, being tackled by the muses and Quatre did not really astonish me. In fact, looking back, I probably should have braced myself better for that. After I was thrown to the ground, in as much as it is in Heaven, I spotted two black haired angels and a platinum blond angel looking down on me with pity and concern.
“It’s nice to see you’re still alive, Duo,” Zechs said, pulling one of the twins (I’m really not sure which at this point) off of me, while Noin and Hilde pulled the other two off.
“Yeah, hey everyone,” I said sheepishly as I stood back up.
“Really, Jean-Paul and Giselle, don’t you have some work to do?” Sally asked sternly.
“Ouí, but we wanted to say ‘ello to Duex before we got to it,” Giselle muttered as she tugged on her “twin”. “Come along, mon frére. On to work!”
“Bye guys,” I called after them as they disappeared. “So…. Hi?”
“Duo!” Quatre seemed to have gotten free from Hilde and latched himself back onto me. “You don’t write. You don’t call.” A perfectly pouty lip stuck itself out.
“Sorry, Quat, a little busy lately,” I said lamely.
“Yeah, dealing with the Demon Doro,” the blond said as he released me again. “We’ve been watching. Is it just me or is she worse lately?”
“She is, but at least she’s keeping her claws retracted,” Cathy stated.
“Well, even she isn’t crazy enough to go against Duo when Raguiel is on her butt constantly,” Noin said.
“True. She may be crazy and dangerous, but stupid is not a word I would use to describe her,” Trowa said from his sitting position. It was then that I noticed that he, Sally, and Heero were sitting around separate viewing pools with pens and books in hand. He looked up and gave me what would have been a grin from anyone else. I returned it as much as I could, but I had a feeling that he knew what had been going on between Wufei and me.
Zechs, Cathy and Quatre had gone to watch our charges with their respective Grigori, leaving me with Hilde and Noin. I may have been gone for a while, but I had a suspicion that something was going on with my friends. I braced myself for anything as I watched the two angels share a look before sitting down and motioning for me to join them.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Hilde said, her tone telling me that she was lying. “Um, well, you know Li’s Personal Angel?”
“Kinda. I vaguely remember him. Why?”
“Well, it seems that he was murdered last week,” Noin said quietly.
“Murdered? But that means…” I started.
“That someone removed his wings and then killed him while he was human,” Noin finished for me.
“Is there an investigation going on?” This news scared me more than anything else because I knew who was behind the whole thing, and what it meant in the grand scheme of things.
“Yes, Michael is in charge of it,” Hilde said. That was the nail in the coffin. I knew that my suspicions were correct then.
“Soliriel.”
“That’s what it seems like at this point. Michael and Metatron are staying very hush-hush about the whole thing, but we all know that if Michael is investigating it at this point, it’s got to be about Solo.”
“Dammit! I knew he’d been too quiet lately! Why didn’t you tell me earlier, Hilde?” I was nearly screaming at the other angel, standing over her as I vented.
“Because God had told all of us not to mention it until you had returned home,” Noin said, pulling me away from a now crying Hilde. Quatre moved over to comfort her, and I knew that nothing was going to pry those two apart again. I felt the tugging on my being that told me I was being summoned to the Throne, but I was trying to ignore it. After a few moments, I was summoned again, but stronger this time. Finally, I just gave in.
“Diachriel,” Metatron said calmly. For the first time, his voice grated on my nerves.
“Voice,” I spat.
“Playful One,” God started. “Please sit down so we can talk.”
“If you’re going to tell me that you’re reassigning me, just do it. I don’t want to talk about leaving my current charge,” I shouted.
“That was hardly my intent, Diachriel,” She said, obviously upset. “You are doing a stellar job, as always. Now, sit.” One does not ignore a command from God. “I understand that you are upset. However, the others were under direct orders from me to not tell you about the situation with Soliriel until you returned to us. Telling you while you were on Earth would have only angered you and possibly put your charge in danger. You understand my reasoning.”
“I do,” I muttered.
“Good. Now, Michael is fairly sure that it was Soliriel that murdered the former angel, Chazizael. I tend to agree with his assessment, since he is rather thorough.”
“Anally retentive to details,” Metatron said snidely. There was really no love lost between the head of the Archangels and the Voice.
“Why didn’t you summon me when it happened?” I asked.
“What good would have that done? You were rather busy with your charge, and since it didn’t affect either of you immediately, I didn’t think it was prudent to burden you with this.”
“Forgive me for questioning you.”
“There is nothing to forgive. Now that you know, I expect that you will be keeping a closer watch on Wufei.”
“Of course!”
“Good. You are dismissed. I don’t need to remind you that you will keep this quiet from Wufei himself.”
“I’m not that bad of a Personal Angel, am I?”
“Quite the opposite, Diachriel; you are an excellent guide to your charges. Now, come over here and let me embrace my dear Playful One,” She said with the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile. I returned it and obeyed Her gladly, trying to ignore the sickening feeling I had.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Needless to say, the happy break from the heaviness of Wufei wasn’t happy at all. Try as they might, the others couldn’t engage me in any conversations or games. After a while, I just got fed up with waiting and went back to Earth. I figured it was better to wait for that demon’s next move close to my charge than in Heaven with the others. I guess you could say that I was angry and restless.
When I returned, Wufei was still sleeping, patches of golden skin peeking out from his covers. I watched his chest move up and down as he breathed, and slowly the anger I felt slid to the back of my mind. I stopped when I was right above him and smiled sadly.
“Why are you so important, ‘Fei?” I whispered. “Why can’t I think about anything else but you?”
“Duo,” he muttered in his sleep, a beautiful smile stealing over his face as he turned in bed.
I moved back, shocked momentarily, before I realized that he was still asleep. “You know I’m here, don’t you? You know that I love you. Why are you torturing me, Wufei?”
“Because humans find it fun to torture other beings, whether they are human, animal or supernatural,” Soliriel said. The sound of his voice was like ice water being dumped on me. I turned around and found him standing in the corner, his long black hair wrapped around his body like a shroud.
“Solo,” I yelled, lunging for him.
“Tsk, tsk, Duo,” he said as he disappeared. “You should know that I would never leave myself wide open like that, Love.”
“What do you want?” I was clenching my hands into fists, but what I really wanted to do was wrap them around his throat.
“To make you mine again. However, I’ll settle for the rat’s death.”
“You lay one slimy hoof on him, and I will make sure that you know real pain before you cease to exist, Soliriel,” I whispered coldly.
“Such passion, Love. It excites me,” he whispered in my ear, although I still couldn’t see him. “Why do you resist?”
“Because I hate you, you sick fuck.” I was answered by cold laughter that set my hair on edge.
“You’d better watch yourself, Diachriel. You’re sounding less and less like one of God’s lackeys.”
“Go to hell.”
“You forget that I already have.”
“No, but I hear that Lilith is looking for you, Solo. You should see what she wants.”
“I have no use for that overdeveloped she-devil. Nor do I have a care that Michael is after me. They are both slow and stupid, and neither will find me, unless I want to be found.”
“What will you do when Lucifer starts looking for you himself?”
“Should I be scared if the Morning Star finally gets off his ass to come after me? I think not. If I were you, Duo, I would be more worried about the rat’s well being. It seems that his little friend is up to every misdeed he can get his greedy hands on.”
“No thanks to you, I’m sure.”
“Au contraire, Love. That is all his and that darling Dionyzial’s doing. I’m just enjoying the show.” A hand brushed against my arms and played with my braided hair before disappearing again. “I will see you later, Diachriel.”
I turned, and, to my relief, found that Wufei still slept peacefully. It was times like that I was grateful that when I was phased out of my charges’ sight, my voice was also out of their hearing range. Watching his slumbering face made me ache with sadness again. “Would you be safer if I was reassigned, Wufei?”
“I seriously doubt that, Diachriel,” Lilith and Michael said at the same time. I turned around to see the two glaring daggers at one another.
“I don’t see why you don’t join up to find him if it’s that important.” Seriously, sometimes, those two are way too much alike for their own good.
“The Chang child would still be in danger, Duo, and you know it,” Michael said, ignoring my statement.
“I hate to agree with God’s number one Lackey, but he’s right. Soliriel is too focused on the boy now. You, better than anyone else, should know how he is when he’s truly focused on something,” Lilith said, sitting down into Wufei’s leather desk chair and crossing her legs.
“Why don’t you both take your war somewhere else before you wake my charge?” I asked politely, my eyes making my anger known. “I’d hate to have to explain more supernatural beings to him than I already have, Michael.”
“He’s gone anyway, Mikey. We should scoot out to find the little shit,” the demoness said, moving quickly and gracefully to get away from me. “I would watch that attitude though, Diachriel. It’s not really very angelic.” With a blink of the eye, she was gone.
“I would have to agree with her. Your attitude is dangerously close to a human’s lately. You should distance yourself from your charges more, Diachriel,” Michael added before disappearing himself.
I was really starting to get really sick and tired of the advice from beings that had never had the joy of doing my job. I mean an Archangel and a demoness were agreeing on how I should work; like I even asked either of them for their opinions. Patience has never been my thing, but what little I had was wearing really thin with those two and Solo. I wanted a vacation at that point.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
After Solo’s latest visit, I found myself putting a lot of distance between Wufei and me. I just couldn’t risk his safety. I didn’t care that Michael had supposedly put extra security around us. It was obviously not working. Even the threat of having Lucifer kill him wasn’t stopping Solo. It took everything I had to not answer some of his calls when he was done with his homework or practices, but I did it. All the time, I was telling myself that the more space, the better, but I was having a difficult time truly convincing my heart.
Hilde tried her hardest to get Meiran to talk to her brother, but the girl was being rather adamant about her decision to act like he didn’t exist. Every night when the humans slept, Hilde and I met up with Tao-Mee and Xu’s Personal Angels to discuss some sort of way to make peace between the children. Even with the four of us, we could think of nothing. The only good that came out of those meetings was the fact that Tao-Mee knew that her nephew was gay and didn’t care a bit about it.
It was about a week after Wufei broke the news to his sister about the existence of Treize when Hilde got her brilliant idea. If we could get Tao-Mee to speak to Wufei about the way that -she- felt, then maybe the woman could work on Meiran and get her to behave reasonably. While I felt it was a long shot, it was probably the only thing that we had left to us to try. Luckily, the older woman’s Personal Angel agreed to give her a ‘suggestion’ while she slept.
That took care of one problem, at least, but there was still many issues left to struggle with.
Not surprising to me, Tao-Mee called Wufei into her room one day when it was just the two of them home. She told him that she was aware of his attraction to other men. I could feel the fear and anger build in my charge as his aunt spoke, but he kept himself in check as she continued.
“Wufei, sit down and relax,” she said, gesturing to the chair across from her by the windows. “I won’t bite you, sweetheart.”
“How… How long have you known?” he asked, one hand flying up to his hair and dropping down almost immediately.
“Longer than you have, I believe.” The woman gave him a sweet and sad smile. “I had a friend in high school and college that was gay. Not that Li knew he existed. Jon was a wonderful friend and person.”
“So…”
“If you’re going to ask if I am going to disown you or treat you like an alien, don’t be ridiculous.” Tao-Mee stood up and knelt before her nephew. “Wufei, you are still yourself, regardless of what Meiran thinks because of this.”
“You know that I told her?”
“Well, she needed to talk to someone, didn’t she? This is something she could run to Hiroshi or Yukari with, is it?”
“No, and I would never have forgiven her if she had.”
“You’re ashamed of the fact that you’re homosexual?” She shook her head.
“No, just afraid…” He said that last word as though he’d finally realized it himself.
“I suppose that’s understandable, considering the situation. You misunderstand your father, however. He, unlike his brother, holds very loosely to the rhetoric that our parents fed us all as children. I have always loved that about him, his open-mindedness.” She took Wufei’s hands out of his lap and rubbed the backs with her thumbs while she spoke to him. “He was friends with Jon too, and he knew and respected him. And there are many faculty members at the university that are married to the same-sex that he respects and has no problem working with.”
- Duo? - Even his mental voice was quiet and uncertain.
- Yeah? - I responded, hiding in my corner and secretly thanking Hilde over and over for her idea.
- Whatever you did, thank you. -
- I didn’t do anything, Wufei. This is all your aunt’s doing. - Of course I was leaving out Hilde and the other angels, but I let the boy think what he needed at that time. God knows that we both needed the sweet moment of delicious denial that something much larger than us was about to happen.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
As Halloween grew closer in the month of October, I became more apprehensive of any and every thing that crossed the path of my charge and I. While Wufei seemed to be trying to adjust to his parents knowing about his sexual preference and acceptance, Meiran began to become withdrawn from her family and even more so from Hilde. Before, my friend could at least influence her in the form of a sort of conscience, but as Wufei grew more comfortable in his skin, Meiran ignored everyone around her except the Takai family. This little detail wasn’t lost on Relena, and when her best friend came over to help her set up for her birthday/Halloween party, she confronted him about it.
“What is going on with Mei lately, Fei?” the girl asked, pushing stray blonde strands away from her sweaty face. “She’s not even bothering to come home, is she?”
“How did you know?” Wufei asked, scowling and moving away from the ladder he’d been holding up for her.
“Hiro called me to talk about it. Seems Meiran won’t tell him what’s going on, but he thought that I would know. But, alas, I am as in the dark as he is about your family as of late.”
“I told you about Father and Dà niáng – I mean Mother.”
“Yes, you told me about that dinner, but I know there’s something else. And both Hiroshi and I think it has to do with you and Meiran. So, spill it, mister.”
“I told her about Treize.” As he said the older man’s name, a very pensive look came over his face and he moved to look out of the large bay window of Relena’s dining room.
“How’d she take it?” When her friend didn’t answer, the girl slowly climbed down the ladder and walked to stand beside him. “That well, huh? Wonderful. Well, that explains why she’s staying with Hiro and Yuka instead of being at home. And your parents? How’d they take it?”
“Mother says they’ve known. They have been extremely supportive and have even had lunch with Treize and me at the university.”
“Why did you keep all this from me?” she asked, and the betrayal was obvious in her voice. Noin shot me a dirty look and I tried to apologize to her, but she shrugged me off. Guess I was going to do a bit of sucking up to make her not pissed at me. Well, not that I minded. Noin’s rather quick to forgive me, or she’d been that way up until that point.
“What was I going to say, Lena? That Mei hates me because of something I can’t help?” The anger and sadness was so tangible in my charge’s voice, and I brushed his mind with my presence to let him know that I was there supporting him, even if he couldn’t see me just then.
“Ugh, she’s just like your uncle, stubborn and ignorant,” Relena said, brushing a few stray blonde locks from her eyes. The look in her friend’s eyes at that comment told her that she’d crossed a line and she was back peddling to trying and make it up. “Sorry, ‘Fei, I think I said too much. Let’s just finish these decorations and then we can get ready for our -fabulous- party.”
“Yeah, right,” was his reply.
“Is Treize coming tonight?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
“What’s up?”
The boy sighed and pulled out a chair from the vast dining room table. “Well, he’s been kind of distant since lunch with my parents. I’ve tried to discuss things, but he won’t return my phone calls and he’s so cold if we meet at the university. He’ll only talk if it’s about class. I don’t know how to make it better.”
Relena sat down next to him and put her hand on his arm. “Listen, ‘Fei, just give him some time. Maybe it was just weird for him.”
“Maybe,” he mumbled, jumping out of his chair. “Look at the time.”
“Oh, shit!”
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The party the two friends threw went on with very few problems. Meiran, Yukari, and Hiroshi showed up around 10pm that evening, with Yukari’s newest boyfriend of the moment. Treize popped in for a few minutes towards midnight, but slipped away when Wufei went to find his twin and his other best friend. Relena managed to beam even more than usual, smiling politely while shutting down no less than ten men’s offers for dinner. Wufei actually had to take one to the side to tell him if he didn’t back off, he’d be missing something important. I think by the shocked look of horror on the other boy’s face meant he got the message.
I can’t express how amusing it is to me how overprotective of Relena that Wufei has always been. He fails to see how I couldn’t be jealous, until I tell him that I know where he sleeps at night. That seems to quell his curiosity and manifests itself in incredible sex for myself, and that’s mainly why I don’t care. But, to be honest, I know how much they both love and respect one another and the ‘sanctity’ of their friendship, as Relena once told me.
Hilde seemed a little happier that night than she’d been in ages, and the fact that a blonde Natal Angel phasing in and out throughout the evening wasn’t lost on Noin or me. Nor was the fact that a certain tall, pale and handsome angel made his own appearance. Of course, their significant others showing up like they did only added to the overwhelming sense of loneliness that threatened to take me over every second of every day. My resolve to be more like my charge’s best friend and ignore myself in favor of other things took a backseat to my self-pity as I watched the way Wufei’s black eyes seemed to shine when he spotted Treize’s distinct and aristocratic form appear out of apparently nowhere.
Everyone had someone. That fact just kept getting shoved in my face every time I turned around. The never-ending supply of couples made my self-esteem drop to an all-time low. Add to the pity-party a psychotic Personal Angel and a vengeful Demon and I was about ready to go hide from everyone, as if I could…
Aside from the fact that my singleness was indeed getting the better of me, Halloween and Relena’s birthday party went without a hitch. It was what happened later that would change the seeming relative calm to a swirling vortex of pain and despair.
Author: Makoto Sagara
Archives: the usual suspects; anywhere else, just ask
Category: Supernatural, Angst, Romance
Pairing(s): 2+5, 1+2, 3+1, 4+3, 4+2, H+4, 6+9, S+C, R+OC, 5+R (friendship), 13x5, eventual 2x5x2
Rating: T (13 )
Warnings: Shonen ai, OOC, AU, language, skewed views of a few different religions
Disclaimers: (sigh) No part of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, or its characters, belongs to me. Any references to Dogma are just made because I adore the movie and Kevin Smith, and are meant only out of love and affection for both. Not a single cent was made off of this piece of fanfiction. Suing would be inevitably pointless, seeing as how I have no money. Flames -will- be used to entertain my rabid muses... All three of them... They live for the things.
A/N: I know that the song for this chapter, if you listen to the “soundtrack” that I’ve made for this fic, is a little different than the others, but I was listening to the Puddle of Mudd CD “Come Clean”. I just thought that this song was perfect for this chapter. You don’t think so, please let me know. I think Neko is growing impatient for her flames. She said something about a bonfire…. I worry. ^^;;;
Symbols: -- change in scene, POV, or time
-- Minor change in scene or flashback
- Blah - in mind communication
-Blah- emphasized words
---------------------------------------
Unwanted, live my life ashamed
Who’s to blame for my mistakes?
Well, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why.
I believe (I believe), I said I believe
In the truth from inside
Go away, go away, go away from me
Leave me alone
Ignorance spreads lies
How much will money buy?
Well, I’ll take my time
As I drift and die
~ Drift & Die, Puddle of Mudd
----------------------------------------
Mistakes
What the hell was I going to do with Wufei? That was the question that constantly plagued me. Hilde and Solo had made me realize my feelings for the boy, but that never changed the fact that I was his Personal Angel and that he had been placed in my care specifically by God Herself. No matter what anyone else thought that was something that I took extreme pride and care in. My job was rather important, if only to myself.
But, to be honest, I was getting tired of everyone beating me over the head with my feelings. I could only be told so many times that I wanted more than just a regular relationship with the Chinese boy. It was starting to take its toll on my sanity, or what was left of it. Not to mention that the fact that Wufei was confused and it was starting to drive me to distraction. I had resigned myself to my fate of being stuck watching the one being that I cared for the most with someone else and having Dorothy rub that fact in my face every chance the little… bitch… got.
Hm, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever described Dionyzial with that word. It seems to have been created just for her now that I think about it. Uniciel is just… insane. There’s no bitterness or spite in her – just lunacy. Truthfully, I feel sorry for Une, but not enough to ever want to be around her again – been there, done that, have the scars to prove it.
All this emotional ping-pong brought me down faster than a semi stuck in a lake, so I decided to leave Wufei alone that night while he dreamt of sex and martial arts. (I’m serious!) I needed some time with my Heavenly friends. Believe it or not, I was starting to miss Quatre, Heero, Trowa and the others, not to mention that I was dying to have a conversation with Gandhi again.
I was surprised to see everyone already gathered together when I arrived. However, being tackled by the muses and Quatre did not really astonish me. In fact, looking back, I probably should have braced myself better for that. After I was thrown to the ground, in as much as it is in Heaven, I spotted two black haired angels and a platinum blond angel looking down on me with pity and concern.
“It’s nice to see you’re still alive, Duo,” Zechs said, pulling one of the twins (I’m really not sure which at this point) off of me, while Noin and Hilde pulled the other two off.
“Yeah, hey everyone,” I said sheepishly as I stood back up.
“Really, Jean-Paul and Giselle, don’t you have some work to do?” Sally asked sternly.
“Ouí, but we wanted to say ‘ello to Duex before we got to it,” Giselle muttered as she tugged on her “twin”. “Come along, mon frére. On to work!”
“Bye guys,” I called after them as they disappeared. “So…. Hi?”
“Duo!” Quatre seemed to have gotten free from Hilde and latched himself back onto me. “You don’t write. You don’t call.” A perfectly pouty lip stuck itself out.
“Sorry, Quat, a little busy lately,” I said lamely.
“Yeah, dealing with the Demon Doro,” the blond said as he released me again. “We’ve been watching. Is it just me or is she worse lately?”
“She is, but at least she’s keeping her claws retracted,” Cathy stated.
“Well, even she isn’t crazy enough to go against Duo when Raguiel is on her butt constantly,” Noin said.
“True. She may be crazy and dangerous, but stupid is not a word I would use to describe her,” Trowa said from his sitting position. It was then that I noticed that he, Sally, and Heero were sitting around separate viewing pools with pens and books in hand. He looked up and gave me what would have been a grin from anyone else. I returned it as much as I could, but I had a feeling that he knew what had been going on between Wufei and me.
Zechs, Cathy and Quatre had gone to watch our charges with their respective Grigori, leaving me with Hilde and Noin. I may have been gone for a while, but I had a suspicion that something was going on with my friends. I braced myself for anything as I watched the two angels share a look before sitting down and motioning for me to join them.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Hilde said, her tone telling me that she was lying. “Um, well, you know Li’s Personal Angel?”
“Kinda. I vaguely remember him. Why?”
“Well, it seems that he was murdered last week,” Noin said quietly.
“Murdered? But that means…” I started.
“That someone removed his wings and then killed him while he was human,” Noin finished for me.
“Is there an investigation going on?” This news scared me more than anything else because I knew who was behind the whole thing, and what it meant in the grand scheme of things.
“Yes, Michael is in charge of it,” Hilde said. That was the nail in the coffin. I knew that my suspicions were correct then.
“Soliriel.”
“That’s what it seems like at this point. Michael and Metatron are staying very hush-hush about the whole thing, but we all know that if Michael is investigating it at this point, it’s got to be about Solo.”
“Dammit! I knew he’d been too quiet lately! Why didn’t you tell me earlier, Hilde?” I was nearly screaming at the other angel, standing over her as I vented.
“Because God had told all of us not to mention it until you had returned home,” Noin said, pulling me away from a now crying Hilde. Quatre moved over to comfort her, and I knew that nothing was going to pry those two apart again. I felt the tugging on my being that told me I was being summoned to the Throne, but I was trying to ignore it. After a few moments, I was summoned again, but stronger this time. Finally, I just gave in.
“Diachriel,” Metatron said calmly. For the first time, his voice grated on my nerves.
“Voice,” I spat.
“Playful One,” God started. “Please sit down so we can talk.”
“If you’re going to tell me that you’re reassigning me, just do it. I don’t want to talk about leaving my current charge,” I shouted.
“That was hardly my intent, Diachriel,” She said, obviously upset. “You are doing a stellar job, as always. Now, sit.” One does not ignore a command from God. “I understand that you are upset. However, the others were under direct orders from me to not tell you about the situation with Soliriel until you returned to us. Telling you while you were on Earth would have only angered you and possibly put your charge in danger. You understand my reasoning.”
“I do,” I muttered.
“Good. Now, Michael is fairly sure that it was Soliriel that murdered the former angel, Chazizael. I tend to agree with his assessment, since he is rather thorough.”
“Anally retentive to details,” Metatron said snidely. There was really no love lost between the head of the Archangels and the Voice.
“Why didn’t you summon me when it happened?” I asked.
“What good would have that done? You were rather busy with your charge, and since it didn’t affect either of you immediately, I didn’t think it was prudent to burden you with this.”
“Forgive me for questioning you.”
“There is nothing to forgive. Now that you know, I expect that you will be keeping a closer watch on Wufei.”
“Of course!”
“Good. You are dismissed. I don’t need to remind you that you will keep this quiet from Wufei himself.”
“I’m not that bad of a Personal Angel, am I?”
“Quite the opposite, Diachriel; you are an excellent guide to your charges. Now, come over here and let me embrace my dear Playful One,” She said with the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile. I returned it and obeyed Her gladly, trying to ignore the sickening feeling I had.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Needless to say, the happy break from the heaviness of Wufei wasn’t happy at all. Try as they might, the others couldn’t engage me in any conversations or games. After a while, I just got fed up with waiting and went back to Earth. I figured it was better to wait for that demon’s next move close to my charge than in Heaven with the others. I guess you could say that I was angry and restless.
When I returned, Wufei was still sleeping, patches of golden skin peeking out from his covers. I watched his chest move up and down as he breathed, and slowly the anger I felt slid to the back of my mind. I stopped when I was right above him and smiled sadly.
“Why are you so important, ‘Fei?” I whispered. “Why can’t I think about anything else but you?”
“Duo,” he muttered in his sleep, a beautiful smile stealing over his face as he turned in bed.
I moved back, shocked momentarily, before I realized that he was still asleep. “You know I’m here, don’t you? You know that I love you. Why are you torturing me, Wufei?”
“Because humans find it fun to torture other beings, whether they are human, animal or supernatural,” Soliriel said. The sound of his voice was like ice water being dumped on me. I turned around and found him standing in the corner, his long black hair wrapped around his body like a shroud.
“Solo,” I yelled, lunging for him.
“Tsk, tsk, Duo,” he said as he disappeared. “You should know that I would never leave myself wide open like that, Love.”
“What do you want?” I was clenching my hands into fists, but what I really wanted to do was wrap them around his throat.
“To make you mine again. However, I’ll settle for the rat’s death.”
“You lay one slimy hoof on him, and I will make sure that you know real pain before you cease to exist, Soliriel,” I whispered coldly.
“Such passion, Love. It excites me,” he whispered in my ear, although I still couldn’t see him. “Why do you resist?”
“Because I hate you, you sick fuck.” I was answered by cold laughter that set my hair on edge.
“You’d better watch yourself, Diachriel. You’re sounding less and less like one of God’s lackeys.”
“Go to hell.”
“You forget that I already have.”
“No, but I hear that Lilith is looking for you, Solo. You should see what she wants.”
“I have no use for that overdeveloped she-devil. Nor do I have a care that Michael is after me. They are both slow and stupid, and neither will find me, unless I want to be found.”
“What will you do when Lucifer starts looking for you himself?”
“Should I be scared if the Morning Star finally gets off his ass to come after me? I think not. If I were you, Duo, I would be more worried about the rat’s well being. It seems that his little friend is up to every misdeed he can get his greedy hands on.”
“No thanks to you, I’m sure.”
“Au contraire, Love. That is all his and that darling Dionyzial’s doing. I’m just enjoying the show.” A hand brushed against my arms and played with my braided hair before disappearing again. “I will see you later, Diachriel.”
I turned, and, to my relief, found that Wufei still slept peacefully. It was times like that I was grateful that when I was phased out of my charges’ sight, my voice was also out of their hearing range. Watching his slumbering face made me ache with sadness again. “Would you be safer if I was reassigned, Wufei?”
“I seriously doubt that, Diachriel,” Lilith and Michael said at the same time. I turned around to see the two glaring daggers at one another.
“I don’t see why you don’t join up to find him if it’s that important.” Seriously, sometimes, those two are way too much alike for their own good.
“The Chang child would still be in danger, Duo, and you know it,” Michael said, ignoring my statement.
“I hate to agree with God’s number one Lackey, but he’s right. Soliriel is too focused on the boy now. You, better than anyone else, should know how he is when he’s truly focused on something,” Lilith said, sitting down into Wufei’s leather desk chair and crossing her legs.
“Why don’t you both take your war somewhere else before you wake my charge?” I asked politely, my eyes making my anger known. “I’d hate to have to explain more supernatural beings to him than I already have, Michael.”
“He’s gone anyway, Mikey. We should scoot out to find the little shit,” the demoness said, moving quickly and gracefully to get away from me. “I would watch that attitude though, Diachriel. It’s not really very angelic.” With a blink of the eye, she was gone.
“I would have to agree with her. Your attitude is dangerously close to a human’s lately. You should distance yourself from your charges more, Diachriel,” Michael added before disappearing himself.
I was really starting to get really sick and tired of the advice from beings that had never had the joy of doing my job. I mean an Archangel and a demoness were agreeing on how I should work; like I even asked either of them for their opinions. Patience has never been my thing, but what little I had was wearing really thin with those two and Solo. I wanted a vacation at that point.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
After Solo’s latest visit, I found myself putting a lot of distance between Wufei and me. I just couldn’t risk his safety. I didn’t care that Michael had supposedly put extra security around us. It was obviously not working. Even the threat of having Lucifer kill him wasn’t stopping Solo. It took everything I had to not answer some of his calls when he was done with his homework or practices, but I did it. All the time, I was telling myself that the more space, the better, but I was having a difficult time truly convincing my heart.
Hilde tried her hardest to get Meiran to talk to her brother, but the girl was being rather adamant about her decision to act like he didn’t exist. Every night when the humans slept, Hilde and I met up with Tao-Mee and Xu’s Personal Angels to discuss some sort of way to make peace between the children. Even with the four of us, we could think of nothing. The only good that came out of those meetings was the fact that Tao-Mee knew that her nephew was gay and didn’t care a bit about it.
It was about a week after Wufei broke the news to his sister about the existence of Treize when Hilde got her brilliant idea. If we could get Tao-Mee to speak to Wufei about the way that -she- felt, then maybe the woman could work on Meiran and get her to behave reasonably. While I felt it was a long shot, it was probably the only thing that we had left to us to try. Luckily, the older woman’s Personal Angel agreed to give her a ‘suggestion’ while she slept.
That took care of one problem, at least, but there was still many issues left to struggle with.
Not surprising to me, Tao-Mee called Wufei into her room one day when it was just the two of them home. She told him that she was aware of his attraction to other men. I could feel the fear and anger build in my charge as his aunt spoke, but he kept himself in check as she continued.
“Wufei, sit down and relax,” she said, gesturing to the chair across from her by the windows. “I won’t bite you, sweetheart.”
“How… How long have you known?” he asked, one hand flying up to his hair and dropping down almost immediately.
“Longer than you have, I believe.” The woman gave him a sweet and sad smile. “I had a friend in high school and college that was gay. Not that Li knew he existed. Jon was a wonderful friend and person.”
“So…”
“If you’re going to ask if I am going to disown you or treat you like an alien, don’t be ridiculous.” Tao-Mee stood up and knelt before her nephew. “Wufei, you are still yourself, regardless of what Meiran thinks because of this.”
“You know that I told her?”
“Well, she needed to talk to someone, didn’t she? This is something she could run to Hiroshi or Yukari with, is it?”
“No, and I would never have forgiven her if she had.”
“You’re ashamed of the fact that you’re homosexual?” She shook her head.
“No, just afraid…” He said that last word as though he’d finally realized it himself.
“I suppose that’s understandable, considering the situation. You misunderstand your father, however. He, unlike his brother, holds very loosely to the rhetoric that our parents fed us all as children. I have always loved that about him, his open-mindedness.” She took Wufei’s hands out of his lap and rubbed the backs with her thumbs while she spoke to him. “He was friends with Jon too, and he knew and respected him. And there are many faculty members at the university that are married to the same-sex that he respects and has no problem working with.”
- Duo? - Even his mental voice was quiet and uncertain.
- Yeah? - I responded, hiding in my corner and secretly thanking Hilde over and over for her idea.
- Whatever you did, thank you. -
- I didn’t do anything, Wufei. This is all your aunt’s doing. - Of course I was leaving out Hilde and the other angels, but I let the boy think what he needed at that time. God knows that we both needed the sweet moment of delicious denial that something much larger than us was about to happen.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
As Halloween grew closer in the month of October, I became more apprehensive of any and every thing that crossed the path of my charge and I. While Wufei seemed to be trying to adjust to his parents knowing about his sexual preference and acceptance, Meiran began to become withdrawn from her family and even more so from Hilde. Before, my friend could at least influence her in the form of a sort of conscience, but as Wufei grew more comfortable in his skin, Meiran ignored everyone around her except the Takai family. This little detail wasn’t lost on Relena, and when her best friend came over to help her set up for her birthday/Halloween party, she confronted him about it.
“What is going on with Mei lately, Fei?” the girl asked, pushing stray blonde strands away from her sweaty face. “She’s not even bothering to come home, is she?”
“How did you know?” Wufei asked, scowling and moving away from the ladder he’d been holding up for her.
“Hiro called me to talk about it. Seems Meiran won’t tell him what’s going on, but he thought that I would know. But, alas, I am as in the dark as he is about your family as of late.”
“I told you about Father and Dà niáng – I mean Mother.”
“Yes, you told me about that dinner, but I know there’s something else. And both Hiroshi and I think it has to do with you and Meiran. So, spill it, mister.”
“I told her about Treize.” As he said the older man’s name, a very pensive look came over his face and he moved to look out of the large bay window of Relena’s dining room.
“How’d she take it?” When her friend didn’t answer, the girl slowly climbed down the ladder and walked to stand beside him. “That well, huh? Wonderful. Well, that explains why she’s staying with Hiro and Yuka instead of being at home. And your parents? How’d they take it?”
“Mother says they’ve known. They have been extremely supportive and have even had lunch with Treize and me at the university.”
“Why did you keep all this from me?” she asked, and the betrayal was obvious in her voice. Noin shot me a dirty look and I tried to apologize to her, but she shrugged me off. Guess I was going to do a bit of sucking up to make her not pissed at me. Well, not that I minded. Noin’s rather quick to forgive me, or she’d been that way up until that point.
“What was I going to say, Lena? That Mei hates me because of something I can’t help?” The anger and sadness was so tangible in my charge’s voice, and I brushed his mind with my presence to let him know that I was there supporting him, even if he couldn’t see me just then.
“Ugh, she’s just like your uncle, stubborn and ignorant,” Relena said, brushing a few stray blonde locks from her eyes. The look in her friend’s eyes at that comment told her that she’d crossed a line and she was back peddling to trying and make it up. “Sorry, ‘Fei, I think I said too much. Let’s just finish these decorations and then we can get ready for our -fabulous- party.”
“Yeah, right,” was his reply.
“Is Treize coming tonight?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
“What’s up?”
The boy sighed and pulled out a chair from the vast dining room table. “Well, he’s been kind of distant since lunch with my parents. I’ve tried to discuss things, but he won’t return my phone calls and he’s so cold if we meet at the university. He’ll only talk if it’s about class. I don’t know how to make it better.”
Relena sat down next to him and put her hand on his arm. “Listen, ‘Fei, just give him some time. Maybe it was just weird for him.”
“Maybe,” he mumbled, jumping out of his chair. “Look at the time.”
“Oh, shit!”
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The party the two friends threw went on with very few problems. Meiran, Yukari, and Hiroshi showed up around 10pm that evening, with Yukari’s newest boyfriend of the moment. Treize popped in for a few minutes towards midnight, but slipped away when Wufei went to find his twin and his other best friend. Relena managed to beam even more than usual, smiling politely while shutting down no less than ten men’s offers for dinner. Wufei actually had to take one to the side to tell him if he didn’t back off, he’d be missing something important. I think by the shocked look of horror on the other boy’s face meant he got the message.
I can’t express how amusing it is to me how overprotective of Relena that Wufei has always been. He fails to see how I couldn’t be jealous, until I tell him that I know where he sleeps at night. That seems to quell his curiosity and manifests itself in incredible sex for myself, and that’s mainly why I don’t care. But, to be honest, I know how much they both love and respect one another and the ‘sanctity’ of their friendship, as Relena once told me.
Hilde seemed a little happier that night than she’d been in ages, and the fact that a blonde Natal Angel phasing in and out throughout the evening wasn’t lost on Noin or me. Nor was the fact that a certain tall, pale and handsome angel made his own appearance. Of course, their significant others showing up like they did only added to the overwhelming sense of loneliness that threatened to take me over every second of every day. My resolve to be more like my charge’s best friend and ignore myself in favor of other things took a backseat to my self-pity as I watched the way Wufei’s black eyes seemed to shine when he spotted Treize’s distinct and aristocratic form appear out of apparently nowhere.
Everyone had someone. That fact just kept getting shoved in my face every time I turned around. The never-ending supply of couples made my self-esteem drop to an all-time low. Add to the pity-party a psychotic Personal Angel and a vengeful Demon and I was about ready to go hide from everyone, as if I could…
Aside from the fact that my singleness was indeed getting the better of me, Halloween and Relena’s birthday party went without a hitch. It was what happened later that would change the seeming relative calm to a swirling vortex of pain and despair.
