Title: Alone
Author: Makoto Sagara
Series: Gundam Wing (Part of the Maybe Angels universe)
Category: angst, deathfic
Rating: T
Pairing: 2x5x2
Warnings: extreme angst, death
Disclaimers: Maybe be based off some ideas in Dogma, but I don't own them. I don't own the G-boys, but all OCs are mine. ^_^ Lucky me. Also, the concept behind MA *is* mine.
Note: This is part of the Maybe Angels universe, set long after it will end as a story. If you haven't read it, it's not really necessary, though I would love for you to do so. ^_^
Author's Note: This is for Rainy-chan, whose birthday is on August 26th, and who seems to think that I've been ignoring that fact. Love you, and I'm sorry. Happy birthday!!!!
There is no one here. Everyone else is gone. Silently, I am left in contemplation of my life and the direction it had taken. You know, at one time, I had it all - love, happiness, money, friends – but that's all gone now. I was so stupid. You were all that I needed, weren't you? Beautiful, full of life, smart, funny, popular, friendly. You were my life. Now, there's no sun in my world. All the color is gone, and I find myself without anyone to comfort me.
Where does one turn when the love of their life dies? When the color fades, what do you do to bring it back? Do you just live in a world of white, black and grey? Do you hope for release to join them? Or, do you fight back, learn to live again, find a way to make life worth living for?
I know what you would say, Duo. You'd tell me to keep fighting. That even though you're gone that my life is still going on and that there is some reason why I'm here. I can hear and see you now, smile on your face, eyes shining, the light catching your hair at just the right angle to make you almost angelic. I really don't think you ever knew how incredibly beautiful you were. Are.
We've been through so much, faced so much, loved so much, laughed so much. I really can't believe that you were mine. Do you know how crippling it is to not have you anymore? How undeniably hard it is to continue on without your love and smile? Relena and Hiroshi have
one another, thanks to your intervention. Yukari has found happiness with her husband and their children. And I… had you.
Warriors do not cry, but I find myself weak now. I am so weak and selfish and pitiful without you. However, I know where you are. Mostly, I know. Hopefully. There's no way that you can't be back in Heaven, watching over our friends and I, smiling that smile that only I got to see when we were alone.
Sometimes, when the pain becomes so unbearable, I think back to the time before we were together, to the time when you were my guardian angel and I was desperately in love with you without knowing it. I smile at the way you were full of life then, even if you had been alive since nearly the dawn of time. Your favorite thing was to scare me, but you were also so gentle and kind, unlike Quatre, who cried when something bad happened.
I can't help but smile at the thought of my first angel, the one that you call Natal Angels. He was kind and sweet, but there was something too unstable in him that I could sense, not that you told
me anything about him. I guess he just wasn't you. No one was, will be, or even can be. You are… my light.
It's strange how the longer I sit here and think about you, the less tears fall and the more I want to laugh. You've always had that effect on me. I wish I could have bottled that essence while you
were here. I'd be even more rich and famous than I already am now, not that I want that anyway. I still have the money from the literary works we worked on together. I still have Relena, Hiroshi
and Yukari as my friends, but I suppose that they really do dim in comparison to how important you were to me.
Even though I feel alone, and I miss you terribly, you're with me, aren't you? Still watching over me from Heaven. Please, don't worry. I won't do anything rash. It's just cold in this house that we
shared until so recently. I'll build a fire, and maybe read your book. It always makes me laugh and feel honored to read your words.
You are my first love, Duo. No one will ever be like you. That is why I will never be alone.
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